


Smoking

by fuckthenaysayers



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-21
Updated: 2014-02-21
Packaged: 2018-01-13 06:39:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1216348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckthenaysayers/pseuds/fuckthenaysayers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’d been hiding smoking from Ray for weeks now. Originally turned onto it by a friend in college, Joel had always been able to pick them up and leave them as he pleased, though he found himself always buying a pack whenever he got too stressed. He hadn’t touched them since he started dating Ray, his stress often seeming to just slip away from the sight of the younger man. But lately their schedules hadn’t been syncing up. Just as Joel had returned from a week away at a convention in California, where he’d bought his first pack in months, Ray was sent off to Boston for a convention himself, the two having less than a few hours together again until Joel was left alone with nothing but his cigarettes to calm his nerves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smoking

"What is this?"

"What is what?"

"…Joel. You know exactly what I’m talking about."

"Then if I know what it is, surely you do too."

Ray gave Joel an annoyed look, the other innocently folding clothes as he pulled them out of the dryer. Ray was at the washer, putting clothes in and checking pockets beforehand to make sure nothing important ended up getting waterlogged. In his hand was a small blue lighter, the type you’d find at any convenience store, typically found in the pockets of smokers who would use them more regularly than non-smokers were. Ray had just found it in the pocket of a pair of Joel’s jeans.

"Okay, I know what it is. What I’d like to know I guess, is why you have it?"

"I was just… mfnf… frns…"

"Speak up. You’re mumbling. You always mumble when you can’t think up an excuse."

Joel frowned a bit, licking his lips and distracting himself by grabbing another shirt to fold, acting as though Ray wasn’t staring at him expectantly.

"Joel?"

"It’s mine. I just… I needed it for something."

"Something like what? You’re acting weird."

"I uh, I needed it to light my cigarettes."

"Oh okay."

Ray dropped the jeans into the washer, setting the lighter aside and continuing to fill the washer. Joel had slowed considerably, eyes constantly glancing over at Ray as anxiety and guilt started to flood over him. They continued doing the laundry in silence, neither of them saying a word until they’d finished, turning the machines on before walking off, Ray to the living room and Joel to the bedroom with the basket of clean clothes.

The two continued to do their cleaning tasks, Saturday afternoons always their designated cleaning time ever since they first moved in together. Ray vacuumed all the rugs, swiffering any bit of floor that was uncovered. Joel had to finish putting away the clean clothes and then pick up the bedroom, both of which were low on the list of things occupying his mind right now. As he slowly started to put away the clothes Ray continued to be on the forefront of his thoughts.

He’d been hiding smoking from Ray for weeks now. Originally turned onto it by a friend in college, Joel had always been able to pick them up and leave them as he pleased, though he found himself always buying a pack whenever he got too stressed. He hadn’t touched them since he started dating Ray, his stress often seeming to just slip away from the sight of the younger man. But lately their schedules hadn’t been syncing up. Just as Joel had returned from a week away at a convention in California, where he’d bought his first pack in months, Ray was sent off to Boston for a convention himself, the two having less than a few hours together again until Joel was left alone with nothing but his cigarettes to calm his nerves.

Joel had never been proud of his vices, he already felt he drank a bit too much, and when he started smoking again along with drinking he felt terrible. Some people could handle it, but for him it only made him feel worse about what he was doing, and in turn stressed him out more, creating a vicious cycle he was having trouble breaking. And now here he was, the first full day back with Ray and the other man had found out so early in the day what Joel had planned to hide as long as possible.

He had to be disappointed in him. Ray was never a fan of his excessive drinking but he let Joel do as he wanted, but surely finding out he was smoking now too was too much. But he barely reacted when Joel told him, the lack of reaction somehow worse than anything he could’ve said out of anger or annoyance. It left Joel to imagine what wasn’t being said, to picture just how disappointed Ray had to be with him. Finishing in the bedroom, Joel wandered out to the living room, where Ray was finishing up with the vacuum.

Ray smiled at him lovingly, turning off the vacuum and setting it upright before looking around the room. It was spotless, the two had already picked up anything lying around earlier, which meant they’d finished their cleaning.

"So. What should we do about lunch?"

Joel shrugged, having trouble keeping eye contact with Ray, his eyes flickering from his lover’s face then to the floor, then back to his face once more.

"I dunno. I’d be alright with anything."

"Mm, let’s just make something quick and easy then. Soup and grilled cheese sound good?"

The older man nodded, and the two headed into the kitchen. As Ray looked through their soups, Joel got out the pot and pan they’d be needed, as well as the ingredients for their grilled cheese.

"Tomato or Chicken noodle?"

Ray’s voice made Joel jolt a little bit in surprise, the man pulling out the bread to start setting up their sandwiches.

"….Tomato."

"Tomato it is."

Ray started the soup as Joel set up the sandwiches. Two slices each of sourdough bread with slices of American cheese, which were then sprinkled with a mix of grated cheddar and mozzarella, a style they’d come up with many a sandwich ago after arguing about what cheese was best. Ray took over and started to grill them together in a single pan, butter sizzling and popping a bit as he shifted them around. Joel went about getting out plates and bowls for them, eyes continuing to wander to Ray as he did.

"Ray please. Please don’t be like this to me, if you’re mad just say it don’t torture me like this. I never meant to start up again, a-and I’ll quit soon! Can’t you just get angry or upset or something?"

The younger man stilled a bit, giving Joel a confused look.

"Wait, what are we talking about?"

"The lighter! The fact that I’m smoking now, on top of still drinking more than I should and that it’s bad for me and I know you’re not happy with me."

"Oh. Ohhh. Joel, come on now. If I was mad I’d say it to you, you know that. I’ll admit I was a bit surprised when you told me what the lighter was for, but I’m not mad."

Joel stopped in his tracks, his guilt and upset getting washed away by waves of relief as he stared at Ray, the other focused on not burning their food.

"…Really?"

Ray chuckled a little, grabbing a large spoon and stirring the tomato soup that heated on the back burner.

"Yeah, really. I mean, I remembered that you used to smoke before we started dating, so I guess I just figured you picked it up again for some reason. I’m not mad, and I don’t want to be someone who tells you want you can or can’t do. I didn’t think it was worth commenting on so I just didn’t say anything, I didn’t mean to make you think I was purposely avoiding the subject or anything."

"Oh god Ray, I was so worried I let you down…"

Joel slumped into one of the chairs at their tiny table, a hand brushing through his hair as he breathed properly for the first time in what felt like ages.

"I smoke when I’m stressed, and being away from you for that long made me really, really stressed. But now that we’re both back home I’ll have no more need for the lighter or the cigarettes. You’re more than enough to keep me calm."

Ray smiled, heart swelling a bit at the sweet words. Their food was ready, Ray dishing both the sandwiches and soup up and bringing them over to the table. He leaned over and gave Joel a gentle kiss before sitting down across from him.

"In that case, next time one of us goes away, promise to message me whenever you start feeling stressed? We could facetime or something and maybe that’d help."

Joel flushed lightly, embarrassed over the fact that he hadn’t even thought of such a remedy. Still, he smiled and nodded, touched that Ray would be willing to message with him no matter when he felt the stress coming on.

"Thanks Ray. I promise."


End file.
